Grief is the response to the loss of someone or something we love. Though it is commonly perceived as the aftershock of losing a loved person, it can also be triggered by various other factors, such as loss of financial stability, broken relationships, death of a pet, news of illness or disease, etc.
Dealing with grief can be challenging. It requires self-care practices as well as professional help.
In this article, we’ll discuss the 7 stages of grief and self-care activities to deal with it. Also, you’ll know different types of mental health retreat for grief and loss.
Understanding Grief: 7 Stages of Grief and Loss
Different models have been introduced to explain grief. Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss-American psychiatrist, presented a 5-stage model in 1969 to describe grief.
Later, two more stages were added to it to explain more complicated experiences of loss. The seven stages of grief include-
Shock
It is the first thing most people feel when a loss happens. You may act normally at this stage because your mind hasn’t processed the loss yet.
Even in the case of an anticipated loss, where you prepare yourself beforehand, the immediate aftershock is unavoidable.
Denial
Denial is your brain’s coping mechanism to help you deal with the pain. In this phase, you may want to deny that you’re affected by the loss. Trying to deny the loss is also common.
While in this stage, you may try to avoid people or things that remind you of the lost person or thing. Sleeplessness, lack of concentration, forgetting things, repetitive thoughts, etc., are signs of this stage.
Anger
It is another usual feeling when you lose someone or something.
In most cases, the anger is directed at the person behind the loss. In the case of a natural loss, it is mainly directed at the lost person or your family, friends, doctors, and others.
Trying to hide the anger makes it more dangerous. So, it is better to follow a safe way, like running, exercising, pounding a pillow, etc., to release the anger.
Bargaining
In this stage, you feel shame and keep blaming yourself for things you’ve done or haven’t done.
Bargaining includes talking or thinking about actions you could take to prevent the loss or things you could do to reduce your guilt. Also, you may continuously ask for a chance to make things right.
Depression
As the process of grieving is full of emotions, it is expected to feel lost and depressed. Depression starts when you finally acknowledge the loss. This deep sadness may cause a loss of appetite, sleep, and sense of joy.
However, this depression is slightly different from clinical depression. In the grieving process, the depression lasts for a few days. On the other hand, clinical depression lasts for months.
Testing or ‘Working Through’
This stage involves trying different ways to move forward without thinking much about the loss. As you’re experimenting in many ways, you may experience one or more of the previous stages again, which is completely normal.
The way of coping with things is different in different individuals. So, it may take some time to find the perfect coping strategy.
Acceptance
The final stage of the process is acceptance. This doesn’t mean that the loss doesn’t affect you anymore. In the grieving process, acceptance means accepting that you must move forward with the loss.
In this stage, you may start feeling happy and smiling more often.
Mental Health Retreat for Grief and Loss
Joining a mental health retreat is a good choice if you need professional support in grieving. Different retreats offer different approaches to healing your mental sanity. Here are some common types of retreats based on approaches.
Holistic Retreats
Such places focus on improving your physical, mental, and emotional well-being through practices like yoga, art therapy, mindfulness, nature walks, massage, and more.
Traditional Therapy Retreats
These retreats focus on conventional ways to handle your grief. Group and individual sessions, journaling practices, guided meditation, ACT for grief and loss, etc., are some examples of traditional therapy.
Spiritual Retreats
Such retreats work within a specific spiritual or religious framework. Their activities include regular prayers, deep spiritual discussions, rituals, etc.
Adventure Retreats
These places focus on adventure activities like kayaking, hiking, trekking, or such activities to help you connect with nature and release emotions. Releasing emotions ensures faster recovery.
The downside with retreats is they are usually costly and demand a period of time. You can get professional help from therapists instead. We offer hypnotherapy in Vancouver to help you with grief. Both in-person and online therapy sessions are introduced to help you no matter where you live.
Actions when Grief and Loss in Recovery
Along with professional support, awareness about the situation and active participation in the process help you recover faster. Here are some ways to manage yourself while experiencing the steps to grief and loss.
- Abstain from ignoring or pushing down your feelings. Having mixed emotions is natural in the grieving process. If you want to stop feeling them, you should face them. Pushing them down increases their intensity.
- Isolating yourself is not a solution. You may feel like no one understands you, and that’s okay. Look for someone who supports you. Isolating yourself for a short period of time is ok, but don’t make this stage lengthy.
- Be mindful about facing the triggers. While recovering from the loss, triggers can make the situation worse. You may choose to avoid people, things, or places that remind you of the loss in the beginning, but you should work on the triggers once you’re ready.
- Recovering from grief can be a lengthy process. So, take your time, be patient, and be kind to yourself. You may find others getting out of it, but somehow it seems endless for you, it’s okay. The process is different for different people. Don’t push yourself too hard.
- Practice self-care to keep yourself busy and feel good. Go for walks or join a gym- do any kind of physical activity which will increase your serotonin and dopamine levels, in turn, boosts your mood and makes you feel better. The grieving process drains your positive energy, but self-care will raise your energy levels.
- Another way to feel positive is by giving back or volunteering. Buy someone food or volunteer for any social causes. Helping others in need will not only help you get out of your mind but also feel good. On one hand, it gives a sense of purpose and accomplishment, on the other it also increases endorphins.
- After the primary stages, you can set new goals and focus on them. This step becomes more effective if the goals include physical activity. The goals can be anything regarding self-care, like daily walks, visiting the gym regularly, or achieving a particular yoga pose.
Grief and Loss Activities for Teenagers
Teenagers find it more challenging to manage grief compared to adults. That’s why the grief management process is a bit different for them. Here are some grief and loss activities for teenagers to help your child overcome the situation.
- Make a memory box that contains everything that reminds them about the deceased person or lost pet.
- Help them practice prompts like ‘The thing I miss the most about (the lost person) is ________’ or ‘I feel better when _________’. It helps to release their emotions.
- Ask them to write letters to the deceased person about their feelings. When feelings become words, they feel better.
- Physical activities like running or hiking help them divert their minds and feel better. So, involve them in physical activities.
- Talk to them openly. Allow them to discuss their feelings. Doing this will help them release stress and anger.
- Help them spend more time with family. Watch movies together or go for a picnic. Long drives or family trips work well, too.
- Allow them to scream. Take them to an open place and ask them to scream. If not possible, make a scream box together at home.
- Celebrate special occasions like before. It’ll cheer them up and remind them that life goes on even if we lose our loved ones.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
While grieving, you must stay away from harmful substances like alcohol or drugs because you may get addicted. It is also advised to refrain from making any major decisions at this stage. Other things you should avoid are-
- Isolating yourself
- Avoiding the pain
- Dwelling in self-pity
- Feeling guilty over good days
- Getting involved in a serious relationship
Final verdict
Grief is a natural response to loss that can sometimes be handled through self-help. But as it contains a handful of emotions, professional help is always recommended.
Our hypnotherapy service offers in-person therapy sessions in Vancouver as well as online sessions to help in the grieving process. If you need help, we’re right here.
Also, a mental health retreat for grief and loss can help you in such cases. No matter which option you choose, reach out and take action sooner than later to overcome your grief and loss with the proper support.
It is always better to consult a therapist or doctor if you feel something fishy. Don’t be late. With time, the problem starts getting bigger.